Don't Mind Me
by phoebe9509
Summary: Hotch and Emily go out to get a drink after Hotch has an argument with Haley and they talk. R & R


Emily finished buttoning up her jacket when she heard a phone slam down and she turned her gaze up to Hotch's office. She gazed around the bullpen and realized they were the only two there so she gathered her finished files and headed towards his office. She placed three knocks on his door.

"Come in," Hotch growled.

Emily took a deep breath before she turned the knob and walked inside. "Here are my finished files Hotch," she said as she headed towards his desk and handed them to him.

"Thanks."

A large part of her knew that she shouldn't pry but another part of her saw that he was upset and frustrated and she just wanted to help. "Is everything alright?"

Hotch's eyes came up and landed on Emily's as he glared which caused Emily to take an unconscious step back. "I'm fine."

"Okay well I'll see you on Monday," she told him as she started to back up towards the door. The second that he didn't say goodbye to her she realized she needed to throw caution to the wind. "Are you almost done?" she asked timidly.

"What?" Hotch asked with a sigh.

"Your paperwork," she pointed to the papers in front of him, "are you almost done?"

"A few more sheets to sign then yes I'm done. Why?" he asked with venom in his tone.

Emily immediately began to pick her fingernails. "I was just wondering whether you wanted to grab a drink after you were done. I mean, it's a Friday and it's been a long week." She paused but then pressed on when it looked like he was going to decline. "And you look like you need one or two."

Hotch's face softened slightly as he stared at the woman before him. He had to give her credit, she was trying, and he really did need a drink after his last conversation on the phone. "I'd like that," he stated simply as he watched her eyes widen in shock when she realized that he actually said that he would go with her.

"Okay," she smiled. "I'll be at my desk when you're ready." With that she headed out and sat at her desk waiting patiently for him to finish up.

It didn't take longer than five minutes for Hotch to come out of his office, bundled up and ready to go. Emily grabbed her bag and the pair walked to the elevator together. "Where did you want to go?"

"There's this new place around the corner that we could try. It's in walking distance so we can just leave our cars here then come back for them when we're done," Emily suggested.

Hotch nodded his agreement and the second that Emily stepped outside she regretted her decision to walk. It was freezing out and the winter coat she had on was doing nothing to keep the wind from attacking her. They quickly headed inside and Emily slid into a back booth and removed her jacket as Hotch went to the bar to get them both a drink. He returned quickly and slid in next to her, removing his coat in the process.

The air was thick and awkward between them and neither wanted to be the first to speak. After a few more minutes of silence Emily decided that she couldn't take anymore. She turned slightly in her seat so she was facing Hotch better and asked what was on her mind since it happened.

"Was that Haley on the phone?"

It was a simple question. A yes or no answer and yet Hotch sat there frozen in his seat, staring at his beer that was half gone by now. He kept his head down and his eyes focused on the drink before him as he spoke. "Yes," he stated simply.

Emily knew getting him to talk was going to be like pulling teeth but she was up for the challenge. "Is everything alright?" she wondered out loud.

"Emily…" he started than trailed off.

"I don't mean to pry Hotch, really, I just," she shrugged, "I don't know I just want to get to know you better and you seemed upset and I figured we could talk about it if you wanted to."

"I don't want to."

Those four words were like a dagger to her heart. She should have known it was coming. He barely opened up to anyone, let alone her who he could barely stand, but she thought there might have been a chance. A sigh escaped her lips before she could stop it as she slumped back against the booth and mumbled an "okay."

A waitress came by and got them more drinks and Emily was thankful for the distraction. The two finished off their third drink in silence and Hotch leaned back against the booth and let his head drop back. "I don't know what she wants from me," he whispered so softly that Emily almost hadn't heard him over the noise.

Emily turned her gaze towards him and asked him what he meant.

"She wants me to leave the BAU even though she knows that this is my life. This is who I am. Who I've always been, who I'll always be."

She wasn't sure if it was the alcohol that made her blurt out her next sentence or if it was just the truth that had been waiting to come out, but she knew she immediately regretted it once it slipped out. "Well I think you're perfect the way you are."

Hotch lifted his head off of the back of the booth and he took a second before he turned his head to face her. Emily was expecting him to have a glare aimed her way, but she was seeing a different face of Hotch and she didn't know what it meant.

"Don't mind me," she stuttered as she reached out and took a long gulp of her beer, "I'm just a bit drunk." Emily sat the glass down and continued to keep her gaze focused on the label on the beer trying to peel it off perfectly. The distraction was wanted and needed. She could feel his gaze still lingering on her and it took all of her self control not to look over at him. Emily bit her lip before returning the beer to her lips and drinking again. She couldn't stand the silence and the stares any longer. "What?" she blurted out as she faced him again.

"Nothing," he said softly as he took another sip of his drink. A few seconds passed before he continued. "So what do you think I should do?" he asked as he turned and rested his arm on the table.

Emily was surprised that he wanted her opinion about anything after her last drunken confession but he did. "Do you love her?"

Hotch looked away briefly before returning his gaze. "She was my first love, of course I do."

"Do you want to be with her?"

"A part of me does because I'm afraid of being alone," he admitted quietly.

"But…" Emily pressed him.

"There's a part of me that thinks there might be someone better suited for me out there," Hotch let his eyes drop down to her lips quickly before locking onto her eyes once more.

Emily felt the butterflies take flight at his words and she definitely didn't miss how he looked at her lips. "Well I guess the decision on what to do is up to you then Hotch. If you love her and still want to be with her than fight for her, but if you think you'd be happier with someone else," she placed her hand on his arm lightly, "then go for what you want. Don't be afraid. If you do this you have to be fearless and since you're the bravest man I know then I think you could do anything you set your mind to."

Hotch let his head drop and he looked at her hand on his arm. It was an innocent gesture, one meant to let people know that you were there for them. Something meant to bring comfort to someone, and yet as Hotch stared at her hand and he replayed her words in his head and the moment she placed it on his arm, pieces started to come together. He raised his head and arched an eyebrow at her and he watched her blush lightly.

Hotch brushed her hair off of her face and combed it behind her ear. "Did you know that you're beautiful when you blush?" he asked her quietly as he moved his head closer to her. Emily gasped softly at his words and couldn't believe that Hotch of all people said that to her. "Are you ready to go?" he asked her and she nodded her head.

The duo stood up and both put on their coats making sure each button was properly done because since it was a few hours later, they knew it was going to be colder. Hotch gave Emily a look and she nodded her head letting him know she was all set. Hotch opened the door for Emily and she immediately shivered when the cold air hit her and she wrapped her arms around her middle.

"Winter sucks!" she told him in all seriousness as they started their walk back to the parking garage.

"I agree," he mumbled as he tried not to think about the cold. The streets were deserted and the only sounds that were heard were Emily's shoes hitting the pavement and their breath as they tried to hurry along.

The entered the parking garage and headed to the floor they were parked on. "How it is possible that it is even colder in here?" Emily wondered out loud. "Well this is me," Emily said as she walked up to her door.

She turned around to say she had a good time and they should do it again sometime soon but she was instead greeted by his lips on hers, kissing her hungrily like she was what he needed to survive. Every alarm in her head went off telling her that he was drunk and that he was married, but she didn't care. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close, kissing him back just as passionately as he kissed her.

Hotch pushed her back onto the car and ran his glove covered hands through her hair. He realized that all he wanted to do was feel her silky hair run through his fingers so he quickly removed his gloves and threw them on the ground before returning his hands to her hair and let his fingers tangle in them. Emily ran her leg up Hotch's slowly and bit back a moan as he pressed even closer to her and she felt his desire for her pressed against her thigh.

Suddenly Emily didn't feel the cold air anymore, all she felt was his body pressed deliciously against hers. She felt home. The second that Hotch's hands slid the buttons out of their holes on her jacket and pushed it slightly off of her shoulders so his hands could come up and cup her breasts Emily knew that she had to stop them. If she was going to do this with him, she didn't want it to be against her car.

"Hotch," she moaned out and Hotch took it as encouragement to continue. "Hotch," she said with more force as she took his hands in her own and pulled them away from her body. "I can't do this here," she told him sadly.

His senses finally returned to him and Hotch took in their surroundings and he removed his hands from her grasp. "I'm so sorry Prentiss," he told her as he began to button her jacket back up. "I don't know what came over me. It was completely unprofessional and I apologize. If you want to report me for sexual harassment I'll completely understand," he blurted out quickly.

Emily couldn't believe what she was hearing. She grasped his face in between her hands and made him look at her. "Hotch calm down. I didn't say I didn't like it." His eyes darted back up to hers and she bit her lip at the way he was staring at her. Emily leaned forward and placed her lips gently against his then pulled back. She released his face then bent down to pick up his gloves then placed them on his frozen hands.

He wasn't sure what it was. Maybe it was the alcohol, or the fight with Haley or the fact that he just made out with his subordinate or maybe it was the fact that she was treating him with such care that tears rushed to his eyes. He hadn't felt like he was wanted in so long and yet here this beautiful woman was putting gloves on his hands like he was a child. "You don't deserve this," he mumbled as he looked down at their joined hands.

"Don't deserve what?" Emily asked quietly as she brushed her hand over his forehead pushing his hair back into place.

"This," he gestured to the car and in between them. "You deserve so much more, and I can't give that to you, no matter how much I want to."

Emily gazed into his eyes, "I didn't ask for any more."

Hotch shook his head then straightened her hair out and stepped away slowly. "I'm sorry Emily," he told her softly as he walked to his car ignoring her calling his name repeatedly. Hotch got into his car and quickly pulled away, not once looking at the brunette standing by her car in disbelief. The entire ride home he blamed himself for going to get a drink with her, for kissing her, for letting her stop him. He pulled into his driveway and looked at his house and knew that there was a fight waiting to happen once he stepped through the door and as much as he wanted to put the car in reverse and head back to a woman that wanted him, he knew he couldn't. He was married and he had responsibilities, and to him that thought alone bothered him more than the thought he cheated on Haley.


End file.
